This is one of my favorite phrases to use when talking about food. If I haven't had a Pappadeaux shrimp po-boy or piece of Oreo delight in some time, it is not uncommon for me to take a bite and follow it up with a deep sigh and, "it's been a long time, old friend." The problem, though, is my friendship with food. While I take great pleasure in food, it was never intended to be my friend.
It should not be where I turn for comfort.
It should not be where I look to find the answer to my boredom.
It should not - because it cannot - ease the sting of disappointment or be the cure for my worry.
It never satisfies any of those needs. And, in fact, leaves me feeling worse than before.
I have a long history, though, with emotional eating. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the cycle of overindulgence...which leads to shame...which leads to overindulgence...which leads to more shame...
I jokingly said to a friend the other day that my muffin top has gotten really out of control and has graduated to cupcake top. I have gained and lost the same, stupid five pounds at least 4 or 5 times in the last six months.
And so I am making a New Years' resolution a bit early this year. Whenever I feel the need to soothe my soul with ice cream or chips or whatever the vittley-vice of the evening may be, I will sit down first. I will write about those feelings, perhaps publicly or maybe just privately. Maybe I will still have a bite of chocolate after reflecting. My hope, though, is that I will be more introspective. More deliberate. And that patterns of unhealthy behavior I have developed over the span of three decades will begin to change.
I love to write but saw the date of my last blog (2012); I was amazed that I have not written for pleasure in over 2 years. I'm excited about exploring this side of myself again. It's time to create.
It's been a long time, old friend.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Friday, June 1, 2012
They're baaaaaaack!
Where did this month go?
[cue recap]
From about the middle of April to the middle of May, we were grossly preoccupied, emphasis on the syllable GROSS, with potty training. My previous post "The Potty, Conquered" was, indeed, prematurely titled. While Jakey was able to make both liquid and solid deposits in his potty, it was still only with the potty bell's reminding... and even then some days were [cue pun] hit or miss. After a few days filled with accidents in the Chickfila tunnel and puddles on restaurant floors, we decided to bring back our old friends: the diapers [cue rejoicing]. I have no remorse WHATSOEVER. While I am confident successful training will happen, I am positive that now was not the prime time. The list of wonderful things that have returned along with the diapers include but are not limited to household-wide sanity, relaxed multi-hour outings including meet-ups with friends and relatives, LONG naps for Jacob and later mornings for all of us, LESS laundry even though we use cloth diapers, freedom from the 20-minute timer... I could go on but that really seems to encompass all the biggies.
So I feel like in these last two weeks I have rejoined humanity [cue huge sigh].
Other notable May happenings:
[cue recap]
From about the middle of April to the middle of May, we were grossly preoccupied, emphasis on the syllable GROSS, with potty training. My previous post "The Potty, Conquered" was, indeed, prematurely titled. While Jakey was able to make both liquid and solid deposits in his potty, it was still only with the potty bell's reminding... and even then some days were [cue pun] hit or miss. After a few days filled with accidents in the Chickfila tunnel and puddles on restaurant floors, we decided to bring back our old friends: the diapers [cue rejoicing]. I have no remorse WHATSOEVER. While I am confident successful training will happen, I am positive that now was not the prime time. The list of wonderful things that have returned along with the diapers include but are not limited to household-wide sanity, relaxed multi-hour outings including meet-ups with friends and relatives, LONG naps for Jacob and later mornings for all of us, LESS laundry even though we use cloth diapers, freedom from the 20-minute timer... I could go on but that really seems to encompass all the biggies.
So I feel like in these last two weeks I have rejoined humanity [cue huge sigh].
Other notable May happenings:
- a Ferrer visit! Got to spend some fun times with my sis and her familia along with my parents and grandparents to celebrate an early Mother's Day, my Dad's birthday and Jonathan's belated birthday. Super-thankful and blessed that even though they aren't 15 minutes away any more, they are close enough that we can have long weekends!
- an awesome Abacu5 show at the Curtain Club in Dallas. So proud of Jonathan. And special thanks for unexpectedly free childcare from a sweet friend!
- my first recital for my piano and voice students. So proud of my kiddos! They all did so well and I feel so blessed for the opportunity to work with each of them and watch them as they grow and progress!
- an old friend from North Carolina is traveling the US this summer, and he stayed with us for a week. It was great to catch up and hear how life is going for him. While he was hear we shared some great conversation, ate some good food, visited the McKinney farmers market (fun place!) and went to see Dave Matthews.
- Jacob's vocabulary is growing like crazy. I can no longer list out all of the words he is able to say. He continues to bring such delight, laughter and amazement to our house every day. Additionally, he is able to throw overhand, jump, sing familiar songs like "How He Loves" and the Muppets "Mah Na Mah Na," and drum keeping different steady rhythms at the same time. Love that boy so much and am so proud of him!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
The Potty, Conquered
So, about a month ago I finished reading "Toilet Training without Tantrums" by one of my favorite parenting authors, John Rosemond. I take the time to delve much into the book but will say he advises to toilet train between the ages of 18-24 months. Of course in my mind, we had to jump on this since Jacob was already 19 months - gasp! (what is wrong with me??)
On April 17th, we banished all diapers. And for the past 2 weeks off and on there has been lots of craziness from mommy and plenty of bare-bottom time for Jakey. Last Sunday we started using the potty-bell, a timer that goes off every 15 minutes or so to remind lil j to sit on his potty. Getting him to sit there for more than 2-3 seconds was the first challenge. Getting him to make the connection that he was supposed to deposit something into the potty chair was the next. This past Friday, however, he really started to grasp the potty's purpose and yesterday he showed the potty who was boss!
I am proud to announce that in the past 30 hours we have only had 1 accident! (bedtime wetting not included - that will come later) We even ventured to Catalyst today and he rocked that potty! I was so proud. And so relieved that we now have freedom to get out of this house. The next challenge: helping him find a way to communicate to me he has to go. That will come though. I'm not worried.
In retrospect, I should've waited a few more months. I don't know why I get these crazy ideas in my head and then get so dead-set on doing what I've set out to do. Stubborn. It would've been easier to wait, especially since communication has been such an issue for us in this process. While these 12 days have been some of the longest in my life, they have been worth it. I know it is not necessarily all smooth sailing from here. I'm certain we will have our share of "oops" and "uh-ohs."
But I am so extremely proud of my son. He is truly amazing. And, together, we have conquered the potty!
On April 17th, we banished all diapers. And for the past 2 weeks off and on there has been lots of craziness from mommy and plenty of bare-bottom time for Jakey. Last Sunday we started using the potty-bell, a timer that goes off every 15 minutes or so to remind lil j to sit on his potty. Getting him to sit there for more than 2-3 seconds was the first challenge. Getting him to make the connection that he was supposed to deposit something into the potty chair was the next. This past Friday, however, he really started to grasp the potty's purpose and yesterday he showed the potty who was boss!
I am proud to announce that in the past 30 hours we have only had 1 accident! (bedtime wetting not included - that will come later) We even ventured to Catalyst today and he rocked that potty! I was so proud. And so relieved that we now have freedom to get out of this house. The next challenge: helping him find a way to communicate to me he has to go. That will come though. I'm not worried.
In retrospect, I should've waited a few more months. I don't know why I get these crazy ideas in my head and then get so dead-set on doing what I've set out to do. Stubborn. It would've been easier to wait, especially since communication has been such an issue for us in this process. While these 12 days have been some of the longest in my life, they have been worth it. I know it is not necessarily all smooth sailing from here. I'm certain we will have our share of "oops" and "uh-ohs."
But I am so extremely proud of my son. He is truly amazing. And, together, we have conquered the potty!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
He ate what??
We went to storytime at the library for the first time today. Super fun and we're definitely going to need to add that into our routine! It was fun seeing friends from Catalyst there, too. So we were getting ready to leave and we're saying our goodbyes to the teacher, Kathy, and she mentions that Jacob looks sleepy...which he does...but he shouldn't because he slept from 7:00 p.m. - 7:30 a.m. and it was only 11:15 a.m.
We're driving home and I notice he just looks plain delirious! We get home, I handcraft an English muffin pizza on a plate - I'm so excited because he should just love this lunch! - and what does he do? Pushes it away without even taking a bite. What? Weird...I take his plate, brush his face with my hand and he feels warm. Take his temp and it's 101.2... ugh! Grammie & DiDaddy are coming from Florida tomorrow and the last two times they've come to visit we've passed around the yuckies - we can't be doing this again! So I put him to bed and hope that when he wakes up, he will magically be all better.
Three hours later...
He wakes up crying. Not a good sign. I walk in and he has big, crocodile tears running down his face and is sweating. Maybe the fever has broken? Nope... still a low-grade fever... Maybe he wants a drink. Yep! Drains his cup dry. Maybe he's hungry now? Nope, still not hungry... Ugh. We watch a little Sesame Street and then head to Nana and Poppie's for our farewell Ferrer dinner (sidenote: they close on their house tomorrow! SOOOOO glad for them... so sad for us, but again - so very happy their family will be reunited and living under one roof again!).
On our way over, Jacob is miserable. He whimpers a few times along the way. We're almost to their house and he starts full-on crying. If you know this kid, you know what a high pain tolerance he has. He must be feeling AWFUL. So I pull over, give him some ibuprofen and take his temp... still a low-grade fever.
We get to their house; Daddy takes him out of the van, and we go inside. I help Mom get things going for dinner and she wonders if perhaps his two-year molars are coming in early? Good point... he's gotten all of his other teeth way ahead of schedule! So I walk over to the couch where Jacob is sitting on Jonathan's lap watching tv (again, if you know this boy, you know sitting still is not the norm for him), take out his paci and stick my finger in his mouth.
Oh.
My.
Goodness.
Cue projectile vomiting.
And it keeps going
and going
and going.
Along with the multitude of juice came a wet wipe.
What? A wet wipe? He ate a wet wipe?
How did he not choke on it going down? How did he not choke on it coming back up? When did he eat that? How did he get it?
Well, as for answers to any of these questions, I have no clue. But I am super-thankful that this cottony cloth didn't get lodged in his airway or in his intestines!!! Wow. Grateful, shocked, relieved.
So one more layer of crazy... our dog, Tiger, also has an affinity for wet wipe consumption. In fact, I awoke to him 2 nights ago heaving, hacking and puking up one of these himself.
Jacob, no more lessons from the dog, please!
We're driving home and I notice he just looks plain delirious! We get home, I handcraft an English muffin pizza on a plate - I'm so excited because he should just love this lunch! - and what does he do? Pushes it away without even taking a bite. What? Weird...I take his plate, brush his face with my hand and he feels warm. Take his temp and it's 101.2... ugh! Grammie & DiDaddy are coming from Florida tomorrow and the last two times they've come to visit we've passed around the yuckies - we can't be doing this again! So I put him to bed and hope that when he wakes up, he will magically be all better.
Three hours later...
He wakes up crying. Not a good sign. I walk in and he has big, crocodile tears running down his face and is sweating. Maybe the fever has broken? Nope... still a low-grade fever... Maybe he wants a drink. Yep! Drains his cup dry. Maybe he's hungry now? Nope, still not hungry... Ugh. We watch a little Sesame Street and then head to Nana and Poppie's for our farewell Ferrer dinner (sidenote: they close on their house tomorrow! SOOOOO glad for them... so sad for us, but again - so very happy their family will be reunited and living under one roof again!).
On our way over, Jacob is miserable. He whimpers a few times along the way. We're almost to their house and he starts full-on crying. If you know this kid, you know what a high pain tolerance he has. He must be feeling AWFUL. So I pull over, give him some ibuprofen and take his temp... still a low-grade fever.
We get to their house; Daddy takes him out of the van, and we go inside. I help Mom get things going for dinner and she wonders if perhaps his two-year molars are coming in early? Good point... he's gotten all of his other teeth way ahead of schedule! So I walk over to the couch where Jacob is sitting on Jonathan's lap watching tv (again, if you know this boy, you know sitting still is not the norm for him), take out his paci and stick my finger in his mouth.
Oh.
My.
Goodness.
Cue projectile vomiting.
And it keeps going
and going
and going.
Along with the multitude of juice came a wet wipe.
What? A wet wipe? He ate a wet wipe?
How did he not choke on it going down? How did he not choke on it coming back up? When did he eat that? How did he get it?
Well, as for answers to any of these questions, I have no clue. But I am super-thankful that this cottony cloth didn't get lodged in his airway or in his intestines!!! Wow. Grateful, shocked, relieved.
So one more layer of crazy... our dog, Tiger, also has an affinity for wet wipe consumption. In fact, I awoke to him 2 nights ago heaving, hacking and puking up one of these himself.
Jacob, no more lessons from the dog, please!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Me, a paintbrush & other random thoughts
Not so sure where this week has gone. I can't believe tomorrow is already Friday... and it's March, too! Wow. I remember when I taught in the classroom that this time of year always seemed to crawl by, counting down until Spring Break...and then Summer vacation. But it is truly going so quickly!
This week has been wonderfully therapeutic. I've spent quite a few hours in quiet rooms, just me, a paintbrush and the Civil Wars pandora station. You see, my parents recently moved into a different house with a little more land and more space to breathe. Two of the bedrooms in their new home were painted tragic shades of turquoise, blue and pink. So, in preparation for the arrival of my grandparents in late April (and to improve the quality of life for those looking at these two rooms in the meantime), I excitedly offered to help them renovate. This wouldn't have been possible without the help of my AWESOME sister who graciously watched Jacob while I've played in the paint the past two days. While the rooms are not complete, a coat of Kilz has toned down the obnoxious shades so it is now tolerable, at least, to gaze upon these spaces. Hopefully I'll be able to help them get these finished up next week. *Sidenote - I'm SUPER excited that my grandparents are moving to TEXAS!!!
Excited about this weekend - headed to Lake Houston COTN for a youth service at which Johnny-boy is speaking and leading worship. We're taking Jakey with us so I'm hoping that his typical good traveling attitude will hold up for the 10+ hours we'll be spending in the van. I'm also excited that we will be going a la caravan with some friends from Catalyst. And we'll get to catch up with Trevecca college buddies! Fun stuff.
Other random thoughts:
This week has been wonderfully therapeutic. I've spent quite a few hours in quiet rooms, just me, a paintbrush and the Civil Wars pandora station. You see, my parents recently moved into a different house with a little more land and more space to breathe. Two of the bedrooms in their new home were painted tragic shades of turquoise, blue and pink. So, in preparation for the arrival of my grandparents in late April (and to improve the quality of life for those looking at these two rooms in the meantime), I excitedly offered to help them renovate. This wouldn't have been possible without the help of my AWESOME sister who graciously watched Jacob while I've played in the paint the past two days. While the rooms are not complete, a coat of Kilz has toned down the obnoxious shades so it is now tolerable, at least, to gaze upon these spaces. Hopefully I'll be able to help them get these finished up next week. *Sidenote - I'm SUPER excited that my grandparents are moving to TEXAS!!!
Excited about this weekend - headed to Lake Houston COTN for a youth service at which Johnny-boy is speaking and leading worship. We're taking Jakey with us so I'm hoping that his typical good traveling attitude will hold up for the 10+ hours we'll be spending in the van. I'm also excited that we will be going a la caravan with some friends from Catalyst. And we'll get to catch up with Trevecca college buddies! Fun stuff.
Other random thoughts:
- Jacob has started pointing at and discussing anything of interest to him. Yesterday he was pointing to something while on a ride in the van and panting like a dog (his usual dog/animal sound)... but all I saw was a bulldozer. Maybe I missed something. Or maybe they need to get that bulldozer serviced?
- We've been jamming to David Crowder's new CD lately; track #5 on disc 2 is a choral song and the only lyric in the song is "Amen." Jacob has been singing along for the "AH" part of this. Of course I'm tickled pink.
- God's provision for us continues to blow me away. While we don't live in surplus, we always have just enough. I will be up to 9 piano/voice students in April which has helped to offset the rise in health expenses we've had. And rising gas prices. Awesome!
- My heart continues to be heavy for my sister and her family. Praying that God will move and work in ways that are best for them. And praying for deep peace in the meantime.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
A few of my favorite things
- Jacob's cheeks - I just can't get enough of them lately... It's occurred to me that they probably will not be around in their filled-out fashion forever so I'm kissing the mess out of them while they're here!
- Jonathan's cologne - I'm loving that he has added this step to his daily hygiene ritual. And, wow, does he smell good?!
- Snuggles - Jakey has started becoming more lavish with his love. Previously upon hurting himself, trying to soothe or console him in my arms was like trying to contain a tornado. But lately he wants to rest his head on my shoulder when he's hurt or upset... and while I don't like that he's upset, I love his snuggles.
- Smoothies - an afternoon must. Loving the Ninja I got for Christmas - thanks Mom & Dad! Crammed full of whatever fruit I can throw in them (strawberries, bananas, spinach, milk, peaches, pears, the kitchen sink)
- Belly-laughs and silly faces
- Non-stop gibberish from my little man. I am quite curious what it will be like when these non-sense syllables begin making sense.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Naked drumming and other antics
Naked Drumming...so little Jakey has become quite the drummer. Last night I was changing his poopy diaper before putting him in the tub, much to his disapproval. I realized that if I layed the drum on its side and gave him his sticks while he was getting cleaned up, he would be much more cooperative. Thus, the task was quickly and cooperatively tackled. Afterward we journeyed into his bathroom to get the water going in the tub (which takes a little bit) and I look back and he was gone. I go to look for him and, low and behold, he was laying on the floor drumming in all his glory. Was quite a silly site!
Other antics... I'm very proud that my kiddo has now conquered the slide at Chick-fil-a and the one at McDonald's, too. He can now climb up the playground on his own and find his way through the maze of tunnels to the slides. It feels silly to be so proud of these little things... but I think that's a Mom's job.
Other antics... I'm very proud that my kiddo has now conquered the slide at Chick-fil-a and the one at McDonald's, too. He can now climb up the playground on his own and find his way through the maze of tunnels to the slides. It feels silly to be so proud of these little things... but I think that's a Mom's job.
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