I was headed to another interview with a recruiter yesterday. Wondering if maybe I would hear something after this one. Maybe she would have some answers, some guidance, some direction about that perfect job opening.
While I was making the trek from my neck of the woods to downtown Dallas, I was talking to my mom on the phone. We discussed our similar places in life right now: feeling itchy that something is on the horizon yet not knowing what that is or what lies ahead for us, specifically in regards to employment.
She shared with me that sometimes she finds herself focusing on the end result; looking at all that is happening through the lens of that next event or the goal at the end of the process. And that spoke to me. The planner in me struggles when I don't know where I will land, or even feeling uncertain of where I am heading, and what life will look like for me and my family.
I find my heart longing for the destination.
I wrestled with myself again this morning to stop doing laundry...to stop trolling Facebook... to stop and just be still. And quiet. I opened my Bible and continued in the gospels, picking up when John talks with the pharisees, explaining to them that he is not the Messiah but he has seen Him. The next day as Jesus passes by John and two disciples, they follow Him. Jesus asks what they want, and they respond by asking Him where He is going. Jesus does not answer them directly with his destination. No. He says, "Come, and you will see."
I'm beginning to feel like Bruce Almighty, driving down the highway with the signs speaking directly to me:
"Walk with Me and all of that other stuff will fall into place."
"Enjoy the journey. I'm with you."
"I got this, kid. Let's take a stroll."
God, help my heart not to seek the "what" that lies ahead. But to find life, peace, strength, and hope in the walk with You. Oh, that my heart would long for the journey because that means I am walking side-by-side with You; that means you are holding my hand, walking ever so slightly ahead of me, leading me as I follow.