A Series of Milestones

*Spoiler Alert*
I am getting ready to talk about an ending moment from the movie, "Boyhood." Consider yourself warned.

Recently Jonathan and I snuck away for a day date.  It was fabulous.  We ventured to a fun taco joint in Mockingbird Station, had some Pinkberry fro-yo, and caught the movie "Boyhood." I was so taken with the premise of the film: they literally filmed a fictional story over the course of twelve years.  So we, the audience, got to watch a 5-year-old little boy over the course of those years literally grow up.  What most grabbed my attention, though, was the mother in the film.  Near the end of the movie, she is sitting in the kitchen while her son finishes up packing for college.  He walks in to find her upset as she relives the big milestones of her life: growing up, falling in love, having children, going back to college, getting a great job, both of her children have graduated high school and are venturing off on their own.  She is upset because the only big milestone left is death.

This morning, I finished listening to "Despair & Hope," one of JR. Forasteros' podcast episodes from his "What's the Big Idea" class.  Awesome class, by the way.  He chronicles the movie "About Schmidt" and the central character's end-life crisis as he realizes that the American Dream he has spent his whole life seeking, was for naught.  Landing a great job.  Working hard for countless years to earn a good living.  Retiring comfortably.  But what difference has this life - his life - made?

These two scenarios are grabbing me at the gut-level right now because I feel a change is on the horizon.  I will graduate with masters in just a few more weeks (hooray!).  While I am feeling especially primed and ready to re-enter the "workforce," I am feeling the tension of what to do.  Should I take an office job to get some experience in my new field?  Is that experience ultimately necessary, though, if my goal is to return to the classroom?

Even deeper, though, is that I am being reminded of the best way to live.

I am a task-oriented individual, and I often view life as a series of checklists. Being a stay-at-home mom has helped with this; it is fruitless to check off "changing a dirty diaper" or "picking up toys" when these things will need done before I can find my misplaced list.  While I watched "Boyhood,"  and listened to the mother revisiting her list of checked-off milestones, I saw myself in that mother.

I could easily be sitting in that chair in 15 more years.

And it rocked me.

I want my life to mean something more.  And I want to be intentional about enjoying all of life's precious and beautiful moments.  Not only the fleeting feeling of accomplishment - or the weight of the self-induced stress - that accompany those checked-off boxes.