Waiting

I am increasingly plagued with senioritis as each day passes.  This is the last week of my current class  on International Accounting; I have found this class interesting on one or two brief occasions.  Apart from those collective five minutes, it's been one big snoozefest.  I have one last class on Internal Controls and I will be D.O.N.E. with my program mid-December.  SWEET!!!

So, in typical fashion, my mind is looking ahead.  As I've previously discussed, I have tinkered with the idea of getting back in the classroom.  While looking on Rockwall ISD's employment opportunities (looking for open High School business teaching positions), I saw they had a staff accountant position available.  I was stoked!!  In my best judgement, this would be ideal for me and my family.  I would still be serving teachers, administrators, and ultimately the students, AND I would get to use my newfound set of skills.  It would provide many of the additional days off that teachers enjoy and would allow me to leave the office before 5:00pm daily.  It paid well, and I seemed to meet the minimum qualifications.  You better bet that I knocked out that application, resume, and letter of intent as fast as my little fingers could fill them out.

And then all that was left to do was wait...

So, I waited...

And I stopped by to introduce myself but was too late to speak with anyone for the day.

I waited...

And waited...

And stopped by again and found out I couldn't "drop in" on the office making the decisions.  Boo.  So I called and left a voicemail.

And waited...

And then I got an email back.  But it was one of those emails that tells you from the very first line that it isn't the news that you wanted to hear.  "Dear Ms. Sprang... thank you... BUT..."

It would be a lie for me to say I am not disappointed.  Or that the tapes in my head aren't cued and ready to start playing the "you weren't qualified"...  "you were too late" ... "someone out there is better than you"... mantras that have played like broken records in not-so-long-ago times.

I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine.  And while we were talking - before I found anything out regarding the status of my application - she told me that if this isn't the job for me (as perfect as it seemed), then something out there, even better-suited for me and my family, would come along.

Waiting is hard.  It requires trust.  And patience.  

So, God, help me today.  Help me in this time of waiting.  My humanly desires want to go on the job-hunt...want to search for all the answers...want to make something happen.  And my wounded ego wants to each a bowl full of creamy pasta and chase it with a big ole slice of chocolate cake with ice cream to ease the sting of disappointment.  But I know that I'll only end up being more disappointed in myself.

Help me as I wait.
Let me find You in the waiting.
And help my heart grasp what my head knows: You got this.